Sky's the limit

Happy Father's Day!

2010-06-20T18:30:00.001+08:00

Need I say more? Dad, you know it. :)

Independence day

2010-06-12T18:51:00.002+08:00

Happy Independence Day to us Filipinos.

Let us celebrate our freedom

Proud to be JUAN.

P.S.

Today is also my parents wedding anniversary.

Merced Sisters

2010-06-05T14:05:00.004+08:00

Just wanna post this to get over. This was taken last last week before I got sick. Do I look like my tummy's aching'? So happy to see her, I could die. :>

We totally look like our dad, ha ha. I could see him from Dea. Hmm, so how could they abandon us?.. :/

Constipation and vomiting

2010-06-04T16:07:00.000+08:00

May 22, 2010

I went to San Juan to ask my sister out and to my place.
I learned about the epileptic cat that resides with my mom.
3rd day of non-rice meals.
I slept 3AM cause I made a research about the epileptic cats

May 23, 2010

It's unusual but yes, I had breakfast today with my sister.
We had lunch at 3pm because we were too busy recording.
After a rice meal, I started to feel bad and experience a stomachache the whole day but I just ignored it.

May 24, 2010

Constipated for 4 days.
My stomach was feeling too poignant, more painful than yesterday.
Intense headache.
Had a late lunch AGAIN, around 4pm?
We had Caldereta for dinner. It's one of my fave dish so i ate too much.
pizza, double dutch and chocolate flavor of zagu before i went to bed.
I was really expecting that by tomorrow I would poop a massive one. :)) However..

May 25, 2010

I woke up due to vast stomachache and headache.
It's a whole day experience of vomiting.
AND I CAN HARDLY SHIT.

That's all I can remember before things got so horrible.
I'm still not feeling well but I am much better than last week.

Re-blog's Blog

2010-05-18T14:00:00.001+08:00

Eversince I signed-up, may napansin kagad ako sa Tumblr. Not exactly the Tumblr but the people who use Tumblr. Kasi yung iba parang nabubuhay na lang yung blog nila sa re-blog. Uhm, at first parang ok lang sakin, kaso nung tumagal naisip ko hindi dapat puro ganon nalang kasi di naman talaga ganon ang blog, gulo? :)) Alam mo yun? sa Tumblr ko lang kasi nakita yung ganon e, puro re-blog unlike sa blogspot and multi. Isa pa.. para siyang naging FRIENDSTER :)) kasi talaga nga namang hataw ang mga paggawa ng mga layouts, minsan mukang hindi na nga Tumblr blog. Nareremind sakin yung friendster days talaga since Tumblr is an ad-free blog service tapos pro-html pa. Pero ok lang naman yun, we have our own blogs, own business, own life. :))

Oh so btw, if you want tips or digital updates do follow http://digitalmess.tumblr.com, i am posting some tips in web designing, arts, music, movies, how to's, HOW TO EARN ONLINE, whatever. see it for your self nalang.. but for now hindi pa siya ganon ka-active i'm still working on it. Sobrang dami ko kasing ginagawa eh :/ For my rant blog naman, http://beamerced.tumblr.com. I think mas magiging active ako diyan sa ngayon (sa totoo lang hindi ko na alam kung san talaga ako mag-i-istick)

EYEGASM SCORE.
I made this Tumblrista graphic since I use Tumblr..
FYI, I also use Blogger and Multiply for blogging.
Freelancer :))

P.S
ASK ME ANYTHING,
go kill me with your questions :))

She's ageing every after 5 days of my ageing

2010-05-10T20:09:00.003+08:00

My friends asked me kung bakit daw maputi ako, kapatid ko hindi. Well, sabi ko pinaglihi kasi siya sa tinapa :)) (totoo naman) Lagi nilang sinasabi na magkamuka daw kami!? uhm. I always put myself on denial kasi I know mas maganda siya (kunwari lang yun kasi birthday niya eh haha). Totoo siya yung maganda, maputi lang talaga ako. I'm proud of how she is kahit parang hindi niya yun alam. Kahit parang walang tiwala sakin yun haha. I know takot kasi sakin yun, lagi kong binu-bully but I love her. I may not be very expressive personally pero iniisip ko siya lagi, ako lang pwedeng mag-bully dun at gusto ko sanang ma-guide siya sa teenage life niya ngayon but we live separately so less chance to bond. How I want to take her out today but... *mouthzipped* *sighs*. Babawi nalang ako, soon?

Happy 14th Birthday to my dear sister!
I hope she will surpass everything in life.
I love you and I wish you all the best.

P.S.
Buti nalang wala siyang blog :))

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T09:03:00.003+08:00

She cares.

It's never easy to be alone.

And I love her so.

P.S.

I miss you mom..

Impossible Roadtrip

2010-05-04T16:39:00.007+08:00

When I was younger than today, I said to myself and to my parents that I wanted to celebrate my 18th birthday unlike other girls used to. Instead of a formal party, I wanted to travel abroad, USA specifically, and take a long long drive with no one but myself. How I wish that tonight will be my flight, silly me, that is way more expensive though. Since it is very impossible to happen now, a cup of green tea and a piano will be a great alternative. I will spend my birthday alone tomorrow, I prefer that, while believing my thoughts can travel much farther than anywhere.

Happy Birthday to me.

Don't hate yourself in the morning..sleep till noon.

2010-04-21T23:00:00.001+08:00

It's 2am and yes I'm wide awake. My sleeping and eating schedule are so fucked up. Sleep, wake up noon, 5pm lunch then bath time, not feeling sleepy all night, it's late but who cares I'm in love with my computer, 12am dinner, and 3am I'm down. Apparently, my body thinks my main time to sleep is during the day.

Sleeping problems --- Stress.

Home Sweet Home

2010-04-21T21:18:00.003+08:00

I'll be back at my dear hometown, where my family, memories and heart resides. In the place where I first felt love, better than higher hotel and a place that is more well. I miss the smell of the rain in the streets and the windows where I check the sky. I miss my room where I can lay naked, snort and fart comfortably. Where I can play in full audio to its loudness I can bear. Oh yes! I miss the bloody mess and the dirty laundry too, it looks so good I don't care. In my home though the foods are quite few but will never be accounted. Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home. No more runaways, no more hide and seek, no more feeling unsafe and incomplete. I'll be forgetting the things that hurts me. I'll be leaving the temporary place. Gladly, I'll be home again. I'll be coming home at my own HOME.

"imisstheplacewhereeverythingwassoyoung"

Love hurts

2010-04-19T14:26:00.001+08:00

and it hurts very well.
FIN.

Thanks to the SALTY COFFEE - A Love Story.

2010-04-06T12:32:00.003+08:00

He met her at a party. She was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her, while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him.
At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised but due to being polite, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, and she thought to herself, "Please, let me go home..."
Suddenly he asked the waiter, "Would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee." Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red but still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously, "Why you have this hobby?" He replied, "When I was a little boy, I lived near the sea, I liked playing in the sea, I could feel the taste of the sea, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I always think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who are still living there." While saying that tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. A man who can tell out his homesickness, he must be a man who loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home... Then she also started to speak, spoke about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family.
That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continued to date. She found that actually he was a man who meets all her demands; he had tolerance, was kind hearted, warm, careful. He was such a good person but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story, the princess married to the prince, and then they were living the happy life... And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked it.
After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said, "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life's lie. This was the only lie I said to you---the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It was hard for me to change so I just went ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything... Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth, I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste... But I have had the salty coffee for my whole life! Since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, still want to know you and have you for my whole life, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again."
Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her, "What's the taste of salty coffee?" She replied, "It's sweet."

Like coffee, LOVE is not always sweet. :)

HAPPY EASTER!

2010-04-04T10:10:00.002+08:00

Just want to greet everyone..
HAPPY EASTER SUNDAY!

Let's hunt eggs beybeh!

"wow ang ganda.." ... "ay PHOTOSHOPPED"

2010-04-04T09:31:00.001+08:00

OK. Naisip ko itong entry na 'to dahil sa fanpage sa Facebook.

Naalala mo ba yung mga panahon pa ng mga lolo at lola natin? Mga artista nung panahon nila ang gaganda kahit malabo o black and white yung mga pictures, talaga nga namang masasabi mong magaganda at gwapo talaga sila. Eh ngayong panahon natin? Sure ba tayo na ganon talaga ang kanilang eksaktong muka? Ganon ba talaga sila ka-sexy? Ganon ba talaga kakinis at kaputi? Hindi na natin masisigurado yan kung hindi pa natin makikita sa personal.

Let's be general, hindi lang naman sa mga artista. Talamak ang pag-gamit ng photoshop ngayon sa pag-eedit ng muka sa picture. Hindi naman masamang mag-edit eh. Basta ba hindi mo naman magiging kamuka si Maria Ozawa nalang bigla tapos i-dedeny pa na edited. Accepted pa yung mga photo retouch lang katulad ng madilim na picture i-aadjust mo para medyo lumiwanag, cropping, putting some captions. You can play and make fun sa pictures like turning it into black and white, solarize, cartoonize and apply some artistic filters. Pero nakakagulat talaga is yung photo surgery, andami kong naencounter dun sa Fan Page sa Facebook na talagang bongga ang pagka-edit. Kaya nila ine-edit kasi gusto nila matanggal yung floss nila, malamang diba? kaso napansin ko lang, yung iba sa sobrang edit akala nila gumanda pero mas lalong pumapanget. Bakit kaya di nalang sila makuntento sa bigay ni God?

Ano mas nakakahiya? yung makikita nila ang tunay mong itsura o mapuna nila na edited lang pala? Kung ako papipiliin ayoko masabihan ng maganda sa picture tapos sa personal hindi ganon kaganda, diba? Mas compliment yung, "hindi lang siya photogenic, pero alam mo ba nakita ko siya, maganda/gwapo sia"

I'm not againts anyone who use Photoshop ha?! kasi I use photoshop din and I know how to use it well in basics. Kaya ako mabilis maka-detect ng Photoshopped pics. Gusto ko lang i-share na kapag ang raw photo na-edit, nawawala na yung real essence ng photography. Diba nga kaya tayo nagtatake ng pictures kasi we want to freeze and make stills of memories? kaso kapag na edit na.. hindi na yun yung totoong memory, kasi may nabago na. Same thing with our photos, once it's been edited or liquified, hindi na talaga ikaw yun.

So till here, quick sharing of thoughts lang. :D

YOU ARE A MOTHERFATHER!

2010-04-02T14:50:00.008+08:00

Year 1991, when my mom got married to my dad. Dad was blessed with material things yet my mom only had a very loving and god-fearing family. As the couples vowed, they would live their lives together through ups and downs. After 12 years of marriage they decided to separate. My mom said "I had enough, I'm not going back to your dad." She said that with a powerful emotion, hatred, that no one could break her word, not even for her children sake. It made me feel so bad, seriously when she could not even think of us, her daughters future, that's what I thought. I couldn't blame my mom because she's a battered wife, also I was a battered child. What I didn't understand was she didn't give dad a chance to show her how he changed. I watched dad lived with regrets and tried to reassemble his life without us but I knew he couldn't go on well without her. I knew he loved his wife so much. I started to ask, beg, doubt, shout, hate mom as emptiness grew in my heart, desperately I longed for my family to be back in every way, but she refused. I was so young that time, I couldn't understand why everything turned out into broken. My sister and I lived with her, I stopped schooling at private school, no fancy things like we used to. Whatever. Until the both of them had another lover. I rebelled. I forcefully finished my high school and went to college until my dad died. My close friends know how miserable I am before.
It's a very, very long story. Too many people involved, too many conflicts, not stated.
(I'm gonna stick with my entry concept)

I just want to stress out that I was wrong hating my mom. I thought she never thought of us. I thought she don't want us to go to a private school. I never thought that she wants us to eat 3x a day or more and have a happy family. It took me years to realize why everything I am doing seems so wrong for her. I learned that it's hard for her to decide because everyone will blame her if anything bad happen. I realized that not only dad and I had a hard time. It's also hard for her to see us broken and needy. Truth was I did not see her effort, because I was looking at the life I thought mine. I realized that it's hard not to be understand by the people you need to be. Y'know what? After understanding mom, we became awesome friends... I found out that I have a cool, groovy and crazy mom. When we talk, we are like 'tropa'... comfortable and we respect each other. We became very careful not to hurt our feelings. Do you know how it feels when you're mom trust you? When she knows everything and chooses to tell you things with no limitation. You can talk everything with her.

It feels great when you gain it. Same thing with my dad, I'm glad we had time to bond before he died though it's a very short time. Sometimes I wish I understood these things earlier, so I could save my parents from separation. I knew what they lacked from.. WISDOM.

[EAT WISDOM]
You're family is broken but you are still studying, they provide your needs with conditions, yelling when you stay up late and not allowing you at everything. Lucky you, some don't even school, some don't even know where their parents are, some are battered, some work for their own to survive, some can't even afford to make or read a blog like you do.
You're HOME ALONE... still be thankful because you have a home.. some are just alone.
YOU were made by them.. God gave them to you for purpose.
Go ahead if you don't care, hate them.. but there is one thing for sure.

You will carry it in your entire life.

PS.
kahit gano pa sila kasama.. pag namatay sila.. iiyak ka parin.

How I wish you are still with me

2010-03-05T15:13:00.001+08:00

Happy birthday dad! How I wish you are still living and celebrating your birthday with me and Choleng. I really really really miss you so. I don't know how to start an entry to describe how I feel. I really don't know if while you're watching me, you are proud or maybe mad at me. I bet if still you're alive you might kill me if you have known everything. (ok how many times i use ifs here? pardon.) But I swear, I am giving my every best shot to be more productive in life. I'll make your name proud of how your daughter is. They will recognize you because you're a father of a great kid. Er, I can't promise that this will be the last entry for you or any family related.

Long time no blog

2010-02-23T20:02:00.001+08:00

It's been a month since I didn't post and visit my blog. Sobrang bilis kasi ng oras. I want to blog and share things up but I don't have enough time. Month of Feb, same as January parin, *sighs*. Dati nung buo pa yung pamilya namin, mga ganitong panahon is yung napaka dami naming events. After ng New Year, mom's birthday then birthday naman ng lola ko. Sunod sunod yung mga kasiyahan.. no worries, no dramatic problems, no lack of needs..almost perfect. March 5, it's my dad's birthday. I miss him so much. I remember the old times, when everything seems so young and united. I can remember the things that only me can remember from the past. Napaka layo ng kalagayan ko dati sa ngayon, this is like another life I'm facing. Pero siyempre life goes on, we have to move forward. Embrace the changes and what you have now or else you'll never learn to be happy.

Facebook Zombies, Flooder and the Annoying Ones!

2010-01-27T09:42:00.007+08:00

264 Unread Messages
86 Friend Request (already ignored some)

If you're my friend in Facebook, you can see I only have few friends. I don't add people I don't know. I'm not ~~bragging~~ here that I'm very a popular because of lots of pending request. NO I'M NOT ~~POPULAR~~ or wannabe, I want to clear that. I just don't like to add people I do not know for some reasons. Firstly, my Facebook is a private account among networks that I've joined. Followers are welcome in my Twitter and Plurk. They can follow my blogs too if they want. Secondly, it's annoying how people add me for the sake of Facebook applications and give me a scenario like this...

Facebook Friend: buy me in friends for sale plz plz
facebook friend is offline..

and oh yes, what's up with the friggin' pillows? It spoils my wall and again IT'S ANNOYING. I also receive not-so-important notifications. I hate that. Thirdly, strangers who want to talk.. Facebook is not the right place.. again it's a private account. Be friends with me first before I add you on my FB. YM is a very good tool to chat, not my wall. OK? I hope you understand. Lastly and the very shitty part, strangers add me then add her, and then add him and OMG we have 200+ mutual friends! And then my friends will ask me..."Hey Bea, this person added me and I accepted it. You are a mutual friend. Who is she/he btw?". Don't you have your own friends?! You added all of my friends! I'm jealous! ha-ha. I don't know you by the way.. don't browse my friends. I want to drop kick you big time, seriously. It pisses me off.

So dear readers that's why.. i don't add strangers.

I am not snob, sometimes I ignore people possibly for 3 main reasons.. I'm busy or IDLE, I'm in a bad mood or most likely I don't know you.

OK that is all for know for Facebook thingy.

I don't know you.. so let me know you.

Updates about me

2010-01-18T09:15:00.001+08:00

No School. No Work. Yeah, I'm a total bum here. Nothing much to do. Just resting resting resting and will stay too long in the house. More Facebook, more blogging, more DOTA, more time to do some household chores, more time to sleep and name it! But there's a big big problem, no pay, no allowance, no money. Palimos po! :)) Kung pwede lang i-withdraw ang pera sa Friends for Sale, ang yaman ko na siguro! speaking of Friends for Sale. Oo, Friends for Sale! isa sa mga pinagkakaabalahan ko ngayon. I can't stop playing this game even though I know na wala naman akong napapala kundi ang mga billiong billiong pera na nakasulat lang. Halos ibuhos ko na yung buong oras ko para dun! minsan mas pinipili ko pa ngang mag FFS than to play DOTA! :o biruin mo yun? So for now, that is my everyday cycle. I'll enjoy this "katamaran" moment before I move on to the next level. Para pag andun na ako sa higher level di na ako tamarin. :D

Accident at SM North Edsa

2009-12-30T23:08:00.001+08:00

Bago ako pumasok (1 week ago), well eto natunghayan ko sa SM North. Nung nakita ko sobrang shock ako and well, I remembered my dad. Look at the picture carefully, buti nalang hindi sumalpok sa driver ung poste.. dahil patay siya kung nagkaganun. Hindi makalabas ung mga tao sa loob ng bus kasi wasak ung pintuan sa harap. Sobrang daming nangyareng gulo before Christmas. Nakakalungkot isipin.

The Prophecy of Ma'am Jo

2009-12-18T16:51:00.003+08:00

Hey, I just came home! Sobrang sakit ng puson ko due to my period.

This entry is about what Ma'am Jo said about me while I'm the middle of my typing job.
She noticed and told me, "Bea, mataba ka pala noh? di lang halata. Sigurado nyan pag nagbuntis ka, tataba ka lalo.. hehehe (grins)" Errr..! I don't know how to react on this but it stuck on my head and leads me to post it on my blog. Firstly and honestly, I'm annoyed cause I'm afraid I will be. Secondly, I'm wondering why she got that kind of idea? Lastly, I totally disagree on the first line! haha. I'm not fat or chubby, jopay lang talaga legs ko! kaya parang mataba. I do admit that I have a yummy legs, ehem, but not fat (muka na nga akong adik e). About the pregnancy, if ever that will happen.. matagal pa naman yon! LOL

Simple Hopes

2009-12-17T17:06:00.001+08:00

Yes I am hoping.

I hope for things, invaluable.
I hope for changes, for the better.
I hope for truth.
I hope for tomorrow.
I hope for improvements.
I hope that everything will be alright, soon.
I hope that I can find ways to live better.
I hope that people will remember me, when I'm gone.
I hope that everything painful is worth.
I hope that my dreams will come true.
I hope not to be foolish all the time.
I hope not for material things only, but love.
I hope not good but best.
I hope not to lose someone I can't live without.
I hope not to fall and not getting up.

And I hope not to lose hope.

My Dad's 2nd Death Anniversary

2009-11-09T07:27:00.001+08:00

It's been 2 years since my dad passed away. Last week of October, I visited my dad for an early Undas. I miss him so much, I always try not to remember how he died but how he lived his lonely life, how he has been a great father. He may not be a perfect father, but I will always want him to be.

Tomorrow is his 2nd Death Anniversary. Guess what? my uncle (his brother) died last 3 days ago.